if only i could lose weight like i lose friends
THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE
I am trying to see things in perspective.
My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter
chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot
have this, because chocolate makes dogs
very sick. My dog does not understand this.
She pouts and wraps herself around my leg
like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me
to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in,
she eventually gives up and lays in the corner,
under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the
universe has my best interest in mind like I have
my dogs. When I want something with my whole
being, and the universe withholds it from me,
I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl.
She thinks this is what she wants, but she
does not understand how it will hurt.
if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away
a list of reasons i would be the worst girlfriend ever
- extremely ticklish
- runs away from feelings
- also problems
- bad communicator
- awkward and shy around people i like
- refuses to make plans ever
- sarcastic asshole